Jesus turns 34

A short story by MarcusFetch

And while praying in the garden it suddenly came to Jesus his lack of internal validation. He gets over this savior complex, decides not to go through with the crucifixion. Instead shows up to the dinner and tells judas to split the money amongst those in the group. “If you wish to stay together go buy some land and start a business, take care of yourselves and as many as you can. Balance self care with helping others, for in keeping ourselves of good health, all the better we can tend to others. “

He returns to Galilee and tries to make mends with his father, Joseph. He hated carpentry. He had so many splinters from the wood and his emotionally unavailable father was too about growing the business to allow for his sensitivities.
Jesus imagines his dad in his childhood years. He could finally understand how hard it was for Joseph to be a good dad when he was so young, inexperienced, and lacking mentorship. Joseph had to figure out most things on his own. More importantly, how hard it must’ve been to wrestle with his own son claiming not to be his. He learns compassion for his dad, and in so doing learns a new compassion for himself.
The generational curse is broken.

He feels regret for how hard he has been on himself over the years. He vows a more simple life and moves out to live on the coast.
Him and Peter remained close and would go fishing often. He tried painting and trading, and various crafts. He cut all his hair off and wore a mustache. He explored eastern philosophies, did yoga and one night him and John got super high and made out on the couch for 20 minutes. He said he didn’t remember anything happening the next morning.

Him and Mary were on and off for a while, but she wanted kids and he didn’t want to end up like his father. Which stemed from a deeper insecurity. In which his fear of being bad at anything prevents him from trying anything at all. Rooted in the fear of rejection. But actually people don’t give a fuck about him anymore, and that’s what he’s more afraid of. Becoming insignificant. Actually, not being the son of God. Actually, just another nobody.
A son of a son. We are all just little suns.

He moves on into a new life. He experiences an ego death. He remembers how much he loved drawing in the sawdust and sand, doing it for hours as a child. He would sit on the dirt floor in the shed and pile all the wood chips and dust. He would draw and write. He was always so curious about the strange shapes of the Hebrew text and learned how to draw all the words. Then one year, when his family traveled to Jerusalem, he met a man who taught him the sound of the letters, and when they were heading back home, he ran away from camp and spent three days with the man learning how to read and pronounce, and understand Hebrew. Children can learn at astronomical rates.

He returns to a small seaside town. Fishes and does some carpentry to build a small settlement. He buys ink and script, builds a desk, a store of foods and wine. His carpentry advances as he builds furniture and high-skilled pieces. He writes and draws all the time. He creates journals for himself. He draws landscapes and creatures. He draws boats and new ideas that no one has seen yet. He writes stories and shares them with anyone who cares to spend time with him. He becomes an amazing and loving person.
Peter has a big family and owns a fleet of fishing ships a day's travel west. John moved to the southern coast and spent his midlife coming to terms with his homosexuality. One year, Jesus had to travel 2 days on a mule to go see Luke on the occasion of a kidney stone the size of a blueberry. Jesus gave up drinking wine shortly after.

He wrote more than ever in his 40s on account that he began traveling to Jerusalem and working as a scribe half the year. Turns out literacy was an in demand skill at the time. As his career became more involved he was surrounded by many scholars, exposed to hundreds of manuscripts, and received a tremendous amount of education. He thought the old Jewish religion was prejudice as fuck. He didn’t understand why Moses didn’t just form unions and demand fair treatment with the Egyptian government. But rather got thousands of people packed up and went out to live in the desert for forty years.

At the age of 62 while out fishing one afternoon, he drifts away from his nets. The old memory of walking on water comes to him, he longs for his youth, he steps out of the boat, falls in and almost drowns. Coughing up salt water, he paddles back to shore. Lies on the beach until evening. The rising tide washes away his sandals. He looks at the stars and can’t remember their names. He prays, asks God to forgive him, and falls asleep.

The next morning a young man finds him and brings him back to his hut. His lungs are deteriorated from salt exposure and years of incense smoke. The young man tends to him. While hanging over the side of the bed he writes in the dirt floors and teaches the young man hebrew script, and shares his life story. On the 3rd day, he rises out of bed, walks out to watch the sunrise, feels a sense of gratitude, and dies.